10 Ways To Annoy The XMen
by Rolyn
Summary: I don't know how many times I have been referred to as annoying but I thought I should put this "talent" to good use. Come with me as I give you steps as to how to get on each X-Man's nerves. In the end I think its worth it. :
1. Storm

_I was horribly bored and needed to laugh so I thought that since I am known for being rather annoying in some opinions (my family) I decided to put my annoyance factor to good use to come up with this rather short story. I hope you find it at least a tad bit funny._

_~Restore My Soul~_

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_Chapter One: Storm_

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Okay I had just happened to be in New York and being the stalkerish type of person I am I made my way to Westchester…well I wouldn't consider that a confession so I don't recommend calling the police. You can prove nothing…

I was wandering around aimlessly when lo and behold I was on the grounds of the Xavier's School for Gifted Youngster…first glanced I thought it was one of those asylums that my mother is constantly trying to send me to but when I snuck…oh I mean strolled across the yard and was nearly hit by a stream of lightning that came out a woman's _hand_, I had either entered a parallel universe or I was at the home for the X-men.

Let's go with the latter…

Yea I've heard of these people… (AHHHH OMG I COULD MEET WOLVERINE!!!!!) but I'm not obsessed. I do have a life and all…well anyways…

I could easily identify little miss lightning as Ororo Munroe. She's probably the only woman on this planet with white hair while she's still in her twenties and she was gliding on wind so it was pretty obvious unless you're my sister…

Hmm she seems so focused…I wonder how she gets annoyed. Well I'm a master at finding that out and with my help you can be too!

1.) Water her plants for her but keep the water pressure high. If the plants get blasted away, you're doing fine…

Yea I thought it would be a kind gesture but she didn't appreciate the fact that her flowers were uprooted and I had made a complete mess. Who knew water mixed with dirt made mud…and who knew you could easily slip and fall face first into it when you're fuming and causing a thunder storm. I didn't.

2.) Run around with a wooden spoon and a metal trash can and bang it while screaming "Storm's pissed! Hear the thunder!?"

Okay so when everybody saw that it was _me_ making the noise they calmed down and continued whatever activity they were doing, until a real clap of thunder sounded and I started running around the yard screaming something about being struck by lightning.

3.) Throw a rave…in her room.

Okay do you think it's rather fair that she has that attic room and she refuses to share that vast amount of space? I mean c'mon have you ever tried jumping on the woman's bed!? You could hit the ceiling with the proper strength behind each jump. Trust me, I would know.

4.) Take her cape and run around the mansion screaming "I'm Superman!"

90 percent chance these people are gonna ask themselves who this superman person is. That doesn't matter. What matters is that you dodge those lightning bolts accordingly or find the nearest human shield. Jean can make shields…I think…

5.) Dye your hair white and follow her around telling every person you pass they you guys are twins.

In the beginning she will feel flattered but soon enough the annoyance factor will kick in and that scowl will come to her face. When it does, you know you did a good job. You can even throw some whooshing noises to pretend that you're controlling the wind!

6.) Tell everyone she's the Avatar.

I mean the Avatar _was_ an airbender and she has that down. She also claims to control the elements; HELLO! If she just learned to control earth and fire she's pretty much set because with the whole rain thing she has water down, although she may not appreciate having her head shaven and the blue arrows being tattooed along her body.

7.) Ask her if she's ever had an ordeal with vampires.

Okay I know for a fact that vampires can change their eye color so she fits the bill in that category. For all we know she could have been bitten by Edward Cullen himself…she is rather stoic like a vampire, right?

8.) Tell Wolverine she has a crush on him.

Oh gosh who doesn't? Well she might not, but she should! He's like the epitome of sexy! However I am _not_ obsessed. Once word gets around it will so be worth it…just picture that flustered aggravated face right now. It's classic.

9.) Crack a lot of corny weather jokes like "Storm likes her eggs _sunny side up_."

Haha, that would get on anybody's nerves. Corny jokes are a sure fired way to make someone want to slap you and sadly that is my goal today. That place needs a good joke anyway I mean they are so dramatic…like they're in an action movie or something.

10.) Tell her she could pursue a career in being a weather woman.

I think Channel five is hiring. She would never be wrong but they may get suspicious when they deduct her pay and the winds suddenly pick up outside. Eh…whatever. No skin off my bones…well it is considering nobody likes annoying people!

Well that may not be a sure fire way to get on Storm's nerves but it should get the job done to the point where you just might get kicked out the mansion. Too bad I'm such a genius at breaking and entering…

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_Funny? I don't know. I'm not always that humorous. This was just for fun and I hope you all enjoyed it. Next chapter…eh I'll take requests on the next person to annoy because I really can't decide. Thanks for reading and review, please._

_~RMS~_


	2. Wolverine

_I had fun with the last chapter so now I'm going to do this next on which should be extra fun for me. I think you can guess who will have to suffer now. If not, well all I have to say is that I'm not obsessed! Oh and I don't own the X-Men either…imagine if I did._

_~Restore My Soul~_

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_Chapter Two: Wolverine_

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Okay the whole breaking and entering thing was way easier than I thought. I presumed that this place had high tech security that could fend off, or at least slow down even the most powerful and evil of people and yet a sixteen year old girl who is not capable of one pull up is now wandering the halls of the Xavier Institute at three o'clock in the morning. Nobody should be up…

Or so I thought…

I strode aimlessly into the kitchen in hopes of raiding and stealing from their fridge when my eyes came across the sight of the lost sex god…who I am _not_ obsessed with.

OH MY GOSH! DO MY FANGIRLISH EYES DECIEVE ME????

Luckily they didn't and Wolverine was in fact giving me the "Are you stupid?" look. I was used to it so I paid it no mind as I hopped up and down in excitement. Claws unsheathed, me staring like a blank idiot, I nearly forgot my job and I nearly attacked the guy in a hug, luckily I'm better than that.

I resorted to releasing a high pitched scream.

That seemed to piss him off but I'm looking for a much funnier approach…

1.) Walk up to him with various food items and ask him to cut them for you.

I just wanted my bagel cut in half. Is that too much to ask? He didn't have to chuck the thing out the window and call me names…although he can call me anything he wants as long as he keeps being the sexy beast he is, but a wretch of a child? Nah…that ain't cool.

2.) Turn on Loony Tune with an episode of Tazz in it and say "Look Wolverine! You're on TV!"

Okay I don't know how many people know this but Tazz is a Tasmanian Devil aka a WOLVERINE. You can even resort to calling him Tazz. That crazy blabbering thing always was my favorite character ever and the resemblance is uncanny; they have identical mannerisms: running around in a fury of rage when they're pissed.

3.) Pour all of his beer over all of his cigars thus wasting them both.

I don't care if that healing factor gives him a high tolerance for alcohol and the ability to smoke without regrets; IT'S BAD. What will become of the poor children who watch him sucking the life out of a cigar while chugging down a beer? He's a bad influence on life! Gosh…and people tell me that I have issues…

4.) Run around with a T-shirt that says "Wolverine's Wife/Husband".

This is particularly for females but boys can jump in any time! Although we have to get one thing straight; _I am_ his true wife…he just doesn't know it yet and no I am _not_ obsessed. I mean what is there to be obsessed with except the fact that he is…never mind. If you feel the need you can give him a matching shirt with your name on it! I doubt he'll wear it but if you steal all his clothes he just might.

5.) Tell him you know about his past and proceed to say "When a mommy and daddy love each other very much…"

I mean he should at least know that? His parents are probably dead anyway (May they rest in peace) so that part is pretty clear. If that doesn't seem to piss him off enough just tell him he's a comic book character and that his life is in the latest issue. Time him and see how quick he goes out to look for that comic. He will go faster than that Bolt guy from the Olympics.

6.) Follow him around humming a dramatic song and claim it's his theme song.

Every brooding man with a complicated past needs a theme song. I'm just annoying and I have a theme song. You can let your imagination wander with this one, but for the best results I recommend sing the Spongebob Sqaurepants them. It applies to everything in life whether you understand or not.

7.) While he's sleeping, take a picture next to him in his bed than make it your profile picture on Facebook and Myspace; heck you could put _that_ on a T-shirt.

Once he realizes that someone was in his room and he wasn't aware of it, he will become very upset. If so you have succeeded. I don't even think he'd care that you're parading around in a t-shirt with his face on it. It will be awkward but at least you know the job is done. It's all through love so he should be flattered at least a tad…

8.) Ask him how munch hair gel does he go through in a week to make his hair look like ears.

Who _does_ that? If he says its natural, do _not_ believe him because something like that does not just happen. I mean are you serious!? His hair stands up like that on its own? I refuse to believe that, but I will not deny that it just adds to his sexiness in the long run, but seriously…it is not possible. I will search his room for that hair gel just for proof.

9.) Follow him around and when a girl looks his way, hug him and growl "Mine" under your breath.

He wouldn't dare impale a love struck teenager would he? Hell yea he would. Luckily I escaped with a nice scar that makes me look like one of those adventurers who just battled a tiger. You could always go with that story or tell everyone it's a love mark. That'll stir up some trouble and earn you a few glares.

10.) Stare at him intensely for a long time and when he finally asks "What?" Tell him he looks just like Hugh Jackman.

Identity crisis anyone? Identify this man; Wolverine? Logan? Hugh Jackman? You decide because he sure as hell doesn't know. As if he didn't have enough problems. Poor guy…but as I said before this does not take away from his sexiness, but I am _not_ obsessed so why would it matter. I mean c'mon…

Well instead of simply getting kicked out like before, you are bound to get chased around the mansion and the mansion grounds by a feral man ready to tear you limb from limb…I guess he has no clue that people like us control his very existence…Mwhahahahaha.

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_I had fun with this one but most of these applies if you're a girl…I guess my (not) obsession got the better of me. Haha. Well if you got this far enough to read this, bless your soul…oh and thanks too! I hope you enjoyed enough to review. Reviews are nice._

_~RMS~_


	3. Cyclops

_Wow I really should have updated sooner but I've been trying to think up of special ways to annoy certain people…Hmm and I thought it would be easier for me considering who I am. Okay I'm giving myself too much credit. I'm not THAT annoying…unless you've met me._

_~Restore My Soul~_

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_Chapter Three: Cyclops_

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By the grace of the big guy upstairs, I managed to escape with my body intact and my dignity…slightly shattered but I'll make up for that later in therapy…wait until my shrink hears that my obsession is back. She'll have a field day…

Well anyway, My love…oh I mean Wolverine did not manage to get me off the premises…I think he got bored once the sun started coming up and just went back into the mansion; I was not hesitant to follow. I found myself, once again walking around like a child who just lost her mother in the supermarket.

Who knew breaking and entering could be so boring…

Oh wait…HELLO, look who I found! Scott Summer aka pretty boy of the mansion…I got rid of that obsession in therapy…and I saw Wolverine but still I can't help but smile. My annoyance has just found another outlet…

1.) Ask him how many eyes he has.

I'm just saying this just to be sure. I mean you never know because the name speaks for itself. I mean he could have gotten a more flattering codename. Storm is a cool name and Shadowcat is pretty unique too, but when you are named after a one eyed monster from Greek mythology a girl can't help but feel skeptical about the number of eyes you have.

2.) Follow him around constantly and when he asks why, tell him you're playing 'Follow the Leader'

I've been told he was leader and I have yet to meet someone who does not take enjoyment out of a good game of _Follow the Leader._ If you do not enjoy this game you have no inner annoying child because being followed around is the last thing on this guys list…or so we presume. You never know with the leader types.

3.) Keep guessing his eye color with random colors such as neon yellow of purple.

It is a possibility because if Storm's eyes are blue and they can turn white, I doubt that some mutants have normal eye colors. I mean this guy has hidden behind sunglasses for heaven knows how long. I say let 'em loose Cyclops! Who cares if you level the mansion!? I certainly don't because I don't live there. Who cares if his eye color has been made apparent earlier on!?

4.) Steal his sunglasses and wear them.

Sunglasses like those will make anybody look cool, although the red tint is rather retro, but whose fault is that? Sure you will benefit from this by looking incredibly awesome but when you hear someone trip and fall down the stairs like a blind person, you know who it is…ha.

5.) Run around with Swiss cheese while screaming "Look what Cyclops did to my cheese!"

I'm telling ya, this guy probably works in a cheese factory. How else did those holes come to be? It certainly wasn't magic, but the power of optic beams of red energy that shoot from this guy's eye. Thank you Cyclops for blessing the world with the gift of Swiss cheese. We salute you!

6.) Launch a bunch of lasers off in the professor's office and blame Cyclops.

Who would entrust a sixteen year old with a laser? Nobody! That's who…So the only remaining suspect is the guy with lasers in his eyes. Sure, this will tick off more than one person but it's all worth it. Just remain hidden underground for a few hours so when someone suspects it was you, they won't be able to find you.

7.) Each time someone says Scott, bark like a dog.

I don't know why but Scott is a name that is loved to be called out dramatically. Guess it just rolls off the tongue cuz I thought I heard someone scream his name for no reason once or twice. Just the calling out of his name itself is annoying but a dog barking…or a human trying to sound like a dark barking will make everything better!

8.) Ask him about his past with working with boy scouts.

I totally agree with Wolverine when he refers to Scott as Boy Scout…he just looks like one. He carries himself like one and just picture this; a ten year old brunette Boy Scout skipping around the forest collecting wood, reciting some cute little oath about the wilderness with a sash covered in badges…I see it. Do you?

9.) Raid his room and move everything just ever so slightly.

I've always seen him as the organized-keep-everything-in-order type so when I think about his room, I think about something similar to that of a hospital but without the white walls, the smell of antibiotics and the nurses popping in on you at the most awkward and annoying times, so moving anything will probably catch his attention…which is sad…funny, but oh so sad.

10.) Promote yourself to leader and contradict everything he does and says.

I've always wanted to lead my own team of mutants! I mean imagine the possibilities! No more waiting in line at Disney Land as long as Shadowcat can faze you to the front of the line. I mean Scott is going nowhere and sure he will be insulted but its all for that sake of pissing him off and-or annoying him. The X-men were made for benefits at Disney Land!

Oh yes, Scott is so level headed; Scott is so intelligent; Scott has complete and utter control…that is until he met me, and now you two can piss off this Jean obsessed man! Prepare to run again because this guy may not be Wolverine but he will still come after you. The hole in my pants is evidence of this.

Oh he is so gonna pay me back for these pants. These are brand name jeans…

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_Hopefully this did not lack the humor I was going for but I'll leave that up to you all, my wonderful reviewers...if you do review, which I support fully. It puts smile on my faces. I'm still taking suggestions so tell me, who should I annoy the hell out of next?_

_~RMS~_


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